"Why do you put a wrong answer ever so often on your math homework?"

At my son's school, math homework consists of a chapter a night from the Saxon (old series) math book. He is in book 7 which I think is roughly 6th grade work. He is in 5th grade. He never shows his work and puts only the answers down in tight rows/columns (thought not necessarily neatly!). So- this means he is doing it in his head. I cannot do most of it in my head. When checking his work, we noticed he will ever so often put a random number down that is obviously not the correct answer- not even in the form required. So- my hubby asked him one day why he did that. His reply "well you only have to get 80% o nthe homework to be able to take the test on Friday. The test is what is graded. If it is too much of a hassle to figure out and I am pretty sure I got the others right, I just choose to miss that one."

My question- what is the school teaching my son? Certainly not math! How can one bring that to the teacher and not make him/her look like an idiot? At least you would hope they would feel that way. My expereince tells me the teacher would make up some sort of rational as to why he still needs to do work that is not challenging. My favortie is "What if he gets into higher level math and is missing some pre-requsites?" Hmm-well if that happens, I bet he will just go research it and figure out what he needs to know. Probably with out a teacher's assistance.

sigh...

Lighten up an relax

What do I mean by lighten up and relax? What I mean is that you won't always get the perfect teacher/administrator/school, your child won't always do well/behave/tell the truth etc. So if you lighten up about it now, you will save yourself much stress later. So what is realistic to expect? I have come to the conclusion that 75-80% satisfaction with the education system is pretty darn good. You can just expect to make up the other 25% on your own (enrichment- whatever- more on that later). In most places I encounter people (work/church/volunteer opportunities), about 1/4 of the people drive me nuts- their inefficient, goofy, mean, etc. So why would that be different in public school? The good news- about 25% of the folks I encounter are outstanding. The rest- are - you guessed it- somewhere in between. that is doable.

What do you do with the 25% of the folks that are bone-heads you have to deal with in school? Start with this: Academic Advocacy for Gifted Children- A parent's complete Guide on the Davidson Institute website and read the book Genius Denied http://www.geniusdenied.com. Then get ready for a long 12 years.

Just a side note: My DS is an only child. I am told by parents of more than one that I would have reached this epiphany much earlier than DS's 3rd grade year.

Texas Association for G/T Conference November 2008

I presented a parent session entitle "What do I do with this kid?". It was very well received and one participant suggested I start a blog- so here I am. I forgot how validating it was the first time I heard other parents share their frustrations about parenting their GT kids. Non-GT parents often think we are just being whiners- but there really are unusual challenges we face. I hope to share resources and will post some of the day to day challenges and success I have with my 10 yr GT old son. Here is my top 10 "survival" slide text from the presentation:

1. Relax and lighten up
2. Educate yourself (books, conferences)- resources to follow in subsequent posts
3. Join/start a parent support group
4. Join/start child support group
5. Use honest and upfront communication wiht your self, your child, the school
6. Give your child information (books, talk)
7. Nutrition, sleep and supplements
8. Goals and plans- have your child make them you make them too
9. Teach your child self-determination skills to be repsonsible for his own learning
10. Seek professional counseling (child and adult)